


Unbearable

by KMFiredancer



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bad Puns, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KMFiredancer/pseuds/KMFiredancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sighed, shaking his head. “You sent Storvacker here just so you could do this, didn’t you?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbearable

**Author's Note:**

> This is terrible, but I apologize for nothing.
> 
> (Would like to add that this takes place after Corypheus is defeated and Cullen's romance was completed)
> 
> Edit: Hilarious that my most viewed work ever on the internet is about bear puns. Thanks for reading!

Cullen sighed as he looked over the stack of paperwork in his hands, a handful of guards and scouts standing ready in front of his desk. “Send word to the camps that we’ll be rotating troop placements soon, some of our men could use a break,” He said to one scout in particular, handing them a pouch full of rolled parchment bearing the same orders. “The next orders sent after this will be the placement orders, and who will be returning to Skyhold.”

The Commander glanced back over to see Lavellan quietly slip into his office, leaning against the wall in her usual spot right beside the door as she waited patiently to finish. He issued orders to the remainder of the men inside; training routines for the day, requisitions and testing newly-sent recruits. When finished, the men saluted to their commander and then the Inquisitor, before marching out. Cullen followed behind to shut the door gingerly behind them. 

“Busy day, vhenan?” The raven-haired Dalish woman asked curiously. Cullen nodded with a sigh.

“Always.” He answered, wrapping his arms around her thin form. “I missed you,” He said, planting a firm kiss on her lips, which she returned. “You were in the Frostback Basin for some time, I suspect all went well?” He asked. Lavellan shrugged.

“Oh, you know, killed an Avvar God and found the last Inquisitor very much alive. Nothing special,” She said in her usual joking manner. Cullen chuckled, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. “It went well with Storvacker?” 

“You kill a dragon-god and you’re worried about the bear you sent?”

“It was a great burden to _bear_ ,” Lavellan replied, not missing a beat. Cullen’s hand hit his forehead so hard, Lavellan swore he should have knocked himself out cold. 

“Maker’s breath! It was you who vandalized the reports with those puns when you sent Storvacker here, wasn’t it?” He asked incredulously. The Dalish woman tried to look shocked at his accusation, but couldn’t keep the smirk from her face.

“Why Commander,” She started, managing now to make herself look almost convincingly dejected. “I just can’t _bear_ the idea that you think so poorly of me!” Cullen groaned.

“Inquisitor, please,” 

“Am I em _bearassing_ you, ma vhenan?” Cullen threw his hands up in defeat, knowing nothing would stop her now. 

“Andraste preserve us,” He sighed, shaking his head. “You sent Storvacker here just so you could do this, didn’t you?” Lavellan shrugged, a goofy smile sitting on her lips.

“Maybe. I would bother Cassandra, but the consequences would be un _bear_ able.” She giggled, her smile only spreading as she saw Cullen look at her in disdain. “She can _bear_ ly deal with my jokes as it is.” The Commander decided not to respond, hoping that would stop the onslaught of bear related jokes.

He was wrong.

“Hey Cullen,” He didn’t answer.

“I’m bear footed.” She said, wiggling her bare toes. Cullen snorted, but kept himself from laughing. “Come on vhenan, I bet you’re _roaring_ with laughter on the inside.” He shook his head, biting his cheek just a little as a lop-sided smirk settled on his face.

“I won’t be a part of this,”

“Okay, this one is sure to give you _paws_.” Cullen raised a curious brow before the Inquisitor removed her upper clothing, then her chain mail.

“What are you doing?” Cullen asked, his cheeks burning.

“What, am I em _bear_ assing you?” She asked; Cullen averted his eyes as she removed the chainmail that covered most of her body, her smalls following after.

“Why—?“

“I’m _bear_ naked!” The Inquisitor declared proudly, causing Cullen to groan in frustration before the nude Inquisitor pulled him back into a hug; he was thankful for the layers of clothing and armor he had between them.

“You’re the absolute worst, but I love you.” He said with a sigh that Lavellan responded to with a pleased giggle and a few kisses across his face. 

“I’ll have you know, I’m _bear_ y delightful.” She whispered. 

“…You’re un _bear_ able, is what you are.” Cullen whispered back, but when pressed refused to admit that he’d given in to her game.


End file.
